Reaction Post - We're in the situation we're in, so what do we do about it?

The Good Wife: 5x09 Whack-a-Mole.

This week on TGW aka "Will Gardner's impending emotional breakdown", Alicia defends a client against the internet, Will falls in love with a mob lawyer and his Irish accent, a judge falls in love with Alicia, David Lee would rather kill every single person working at F/A rather than focus on replacing the missing fifty per cent lawyers at LG (or "Lockhart/Gardner", when it's actually necessary to be taken seriously by a bunch of Irishmen in an Irish pub), and Jackie Florrick is fucking terrifying, but that's just a normal day of the week, really. 

Alicia's client is a University professor whose colleague intends to work as an analyst for the CIA, so agents are talking to him for the background check - which just turns out to be a ruse, once Alicia arrives, because in fact they're trying to find someone who planted a bomb at a Minnesota food fair and they're getting their information off a site (that seems to be twitter but maybe facebook? TGW's internet-verse is a bit confusing sometimes) where users look at pictures taken from where it happened - and those users have decided, based on a blurry picture and a white baseball cap, that Alicia's client is the perpetrator. Since the FBI/CIA are crowdsourcing their information, Alicia and co decide to go after the site and have the forum thread taken down, which promptly happens, except...

Meanwhile, Will Gardner sets eyes on an unconventional candidate to fill the fourth year mutiny hole - a mob lawyer from Ireland. A romantic date at an Irish pub leads to Will immediately deciding to make the guy partner (?!) without consulting the other partners first, who are outraged!, except then Damian goes on his own personal vendetta against F/A (stealing their furniture AND Alicia's #1 Mom button which he later wears triumphantly in court, just to give you an idea of what kind of guy he is, that monster), which of course wins the hearts and minds of everyone at LG. Everyone's minds? No, Diane remains sceptical and asks Kalinda to look into him, but he plays her pretty well, well enough to spike her interest and claim that he isn't dangerous, just "off" (and I swear if they're making this a thing I will... kick something, whatever's left after the Nick debacle). Damian also figures out that Alicia is going after the internet firm behind the forum, and promptly gets them to hire LG to defend them - which leads to a hilarious back and forth including arguments whether sad men in their forties who work for fake internet credibility count as employees even though it's not real money, if algorithms can oversee fake employees, if spambots are employees, etc. It's weird enough for the judge to fall hopelessly in love with Alicia for thinking on her feet, I guess, and it's also the first time that Alicia is facing Will in court (and she actually wins against him, it seems, although the whole thing is cut short by the judge's awkward phone call, the weirdest and maybe awesomenest way the show has ever ended an episode). 

• Alicia, hilariously, in the scene after David essentially vouches to kill each and every one of them in revenge, proposes that they go out there and try to find their own clients rather than continue stealing LG's. 
• Peter's new candidate for the Illinois Supreme Court is someone who used to clerk for Jackie's husband, who shall henceforth only be known as "The Judge", because that's what Jackie eloquently calls him throughout the episode. The awkward part is that she also used to sleep with The Judge. She's also Idgie Threadgoode, which makes the part where Jackie is absolutely terrifying to her and threatens to tell her husband, who's in the hospital with cancer, about the affair if she doesn't step back (which she ends up doing), kind of hard to bear. Hi, Mary Stuart Masterson! 
• "I don't believe in women investigators". I hope there's still enough space for Damian wherever Nick's ended up. (but also I have a feeling that once Kalinda really starts to look into him, he'll probably look into her as well, and he seems like the kind of guy who'd be good at finding stuff. I mean Blake - remember awful Blake? -  wasn't but he somehow figured it out?)
• Spambots are "the computerized version of the worst part of human nature".  
• Diane gets kind of nostalgic when she sees F/A's offices (after not getting shot by the crack dealers around the corner).